The deleted chapters
by sucker4villains
Summary: In response to getting over 5,000 view for my story 'You'll be the Death of Me' these one-shot's are the things that did not make it but I felt would still be fun to post. Some small spoilers for later chapters may occur and characters maybe oc in some ( hence why they are not in the original)


These chapters are one-shots that either did not make it into the story or just idea's i had that I thought would be funny. Thank you all for all the support for my stories. These collaborations will at times be a little OC, but that is another reason why they didn't make it into 'You'll be the Death of Me'.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Can't get a break**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Remind me again, why I let you talk me into this?"

It was a perfectly dreary Spring Sunday morning; the overcast sky promised rain in a few hours if the puffy gray clouds were any indication. A thin mist hung around the car as they continued down the road, making things a little difficult to see for the occupants.

Sophie waited for her friend Catrina to stop drinking her coffee; keeping her eyes on the road as she drove further out into the country.

"I don't have my driver's license and you're my best buddy with a driver's license. Plus we get to do this for free since I'm thinking of renting." Catrina took another sip and gave a contented sigh as she looked out the passenger window.

"Why couldn't you have picked a better day?" Sophie grumbled. "I could still be getting a restful sleep right now since Alucard has been on that mission. I never get the chance to sleep in anymore… and the weathers perfect for it."

"Oh don't be such a sourpuss. She couldn't offer any other day for a while. Look, we're here. Turn right." Catrina chirped, pointing at the sign. A plain brown sign reading Timothy's Ranch was hung on a long wooden fence surrounding a huge field.

Sophie turned and drove slowly up the dirt path to park besides a barn. Chickens walked around in groups and then scattered, clucking and squawking in alarm as the girls stepped out. The roosters on the fence glared at them for disturbing the hens.

"I'm going to chase one later. Wanna join?" Catrina grinned as she stalked after a frightened hen, boots sinking slightly into the damp ground. One rooster flapped its wings and hopped onto the ground, following Catrina.

"Leave it alone. What time did our instructor say she'd be here?" Sophie asked, rolling her eyes as she walked over to the fence to stare at the horses. There were eight of them, five eating from a bale of hay in the center of the field while the other two were lying down, their tails flicking the flies off their backs.

"She's coming now!" her friends shout made Sophie turn around as a young woman walked towards them from the barn. Her dyed hot pink hair was up in a ponytail, held out of her cherubic face to emphasize her blue eyes. She wore a simple pair of jeans and a purple jacket, holding a paper in her hand.

" Hi! I'm Jessie. Are you Catrina… forgive me if I don't pronounce this right; Urmagerd?" The woman's accent made her sound Scottish. She gave the paper a confused glance as she fumbled with the name.

Sophie inwardly sighed and vowed to have a talk with her friend about false identities... that and coming up with better aliases.

"You said it right. And this is my friend Sophie. I had signed us up for a tour and ride." Catrina grinned as she spoke, holding out her hand. Jessie reached and took her offered hand giving her a friendly shake.

"Alright. If you will follow me inside the barn, I'll have you both sign a form and then we can get to riding. Have you both ridden before?" Jessie asked as she turned and gestured for them to follow her to the barn.

Catrina followed first, momentarily dodging off the path to run after a chicken. Sophie continued walking behind their instructor. "It's been awhile. At least 10 years or so. We both went to a camp in America for a while when we were little. I might need some reminders though."

"Ok, that's not a problem. So you already know how to ride then. We'll just start by brushing their coats, and then getting them saddled." Jessie nodded as she walked over to a shelf and pulled down a folder, taking out two papers and pens, setting them down on the table. "I just need you both to sign these. The form just states that we are not responsible for any injuries sustained while riding, and that you are in good enough health to handle riding. "

Sophie took a pen and quickly read over the form and put her initials besides the other minor agreements. She signed her name at the bottom. Besides her Catrina was filling out her form, pen flying across the pages as she initialed besides each agreement.

"Done so whe-" Catrina began.

A loud surprised squawk from the last stall startled the two girls. Sophie and Catrina whirled around in time to watch as a hen sailed over the top of the stall door, wings flapping wildly sending feathers and everywhere. It landed and took off as two roosters followed close behind, clearing the stall door as well. Three more squeezed underneath the door and followed pursuit of the hen that was zigzagging across the yard away from the roosters, clucking in panic.

It ran underneath the fence of a small corral and made it into the woods on the other side. Sophie lost sight of the squawking group as the roosters followed the hen into the woods.

"Does that happen often?" Sophie asked as she walked back. Catrina was laughing hard and wiped at a fake tear.

"A lot. But more often than not one of those roosters will get the hen." Jessie laughed as Sophie made a face. "Relax hun. Animals do things their own way."

Catrina finally stopped laughing and looked at Sophie. "I think she knows plenty about animals." She began giggling again and tried to cover her smile with her hand.

"Shut up!" Sophie growled, taking a step towards her friend. "Can we just get to riding now? I plan on trying to get a good nap in later after we're through here."

"Then let's grab some of the leads hanging over there and go get the horses. The ones we're getting already have their harnesses on. " Jessie smiled and pointed to the ropes hanging near the entrance to the barn.

They each took one of the colored leads and walked back out to the field. Jessie opened the gate and ushered the girls through. "Now the ones I'm going to put you two on are Harley and Stream. See them lying over there?" Jessie said pointing to two horses that had moved to lie down underneath a tree.

The brown and white one nickered softly as they approached, black tail swishing the flies around her. "That's Harley. She's a big baby and is easy enough to handle, but likes to ignore orders. Just be firm with her. You can attach the lead to her halter and lead her out to the hitching post by the barn." Jessie grinned and nodded to Catrina.

Sophie watched as Catrina clipped on the rope. "Come on girl." The horse got to its feet and followed Catrina. She watched the two before turning to the other horse. The brown mare just gazed at the remaining two humans and snorted.

"This is Stream. She's one of the older horses and won't give you trouble. Get her and head over to wait with your friend." Jessie instructed before heading over to the hay bale to get her horse.

Sophie watched her walk away. "Alright then." Sophie bent down and clipped the lead to the harness the horse had on.

"Alright Stream. Let's go." Sophie turned and started to walk away. She was jerked back when the horse pulled her head the other way, causing Sophie to stumble.

"Come on!" Sophie grunted as she gave the lead a tug. Stream only looked at her before laying her head back down on the grass. She snorted, nostrils flaring as she refused to move.

A rumble of low thunder rolled across the clouds. The storm was coming closer.

"Alright horsey. You have five seconds to move. I am going to count and then we'll try again. One… Two…"

She never got to three.

Streams head shot up as her eyes widened in panic. She yanked her head from side to side, the lead ripped out of Sophie's hands as the horse leapt to her feet.

"Whoa there!" Sophie scrambled to regain hold of the lead. Stream tossed her head and bolted for the gate, the rope flailing wildly behind as the horse ran.

"WAIT!" Sophie ran as fast as she could, stopping when she reached the frightened mare. Jessie was on the other side of the gate, patting the horse's head, calming the frightened animal down. She looked up as Sophie arrived.

"What happened? She never gets like this" the worried tone in Jessie's voice made Sophie shrug with unease.

"I don't know. I assumed it was the thunder." She panted giving the horse a glare and taking hold of the lead as Jessie opened up the gate.

Stream turned her head to glance back at the direction of the tree before trotting forward, following Sophie. She was able to make it to the hitching post with no more issues.

Catrina was finishing brushing her horse's coat as Sophie tied the rope around the post. "What took you so long?"

Sophie grabbed another brush from the bucket between the horses, kicking aside a chicken. "My horse got spooked."

"What? Did you look at it weird or something?" Catrina joked as she dodged the brush that went flying towards her.

"Please don't throw those brushes. We don't have a lot of time to ride with the weather starting to get worse and I'd like you both to have a nice experience here." Jessie scolded as she picked up the brush Sophie had thrown. She handed it back to Sophie and went back into the barn. A few moments later she came out with a few large pads and saddles.

"Finish brushing them and let's get these on."

Jessie began helping Catrina with putting the pad and saddle on her horse, taking her time as Sophie brushed hers.

Minutes passed in silence as the wind picked up slightly, brushing Sophie's ponytail into her face. "I hate this wind" she muttered as she finished brushing and reached for the saddle.

"I agree. It's messing up my hair." Catrina grumbled as she put on her helmet.

Another gust of wind brushed past them and all three horses froze, heads turned towards the inside of the barn.

Catrina had just climbed into the saddle and was reaching for the reigns when Harley gave a startled cry and took off, turning around and cantering madly in the direction of the field. Chickens squawked as they were startled and dodged the horse's hooves, scattering yet again. A few flew up slightly in the air to land on a small shed, feathers ruffling as they gave the horse an affronted look.

"MS. URMAGERD! HOLD ON!" without waiting, Jessie had climbed onto the white horse she had brought over and cantered after the runaway horse. Her hands gripped the horses mane tightly as the horse picked up speed.

Catrina was screaming and yelling enough profanities to make any proud navy officer blush, her hair whipping back behind her as strands escaped her helmet.

Sophie had just finished setting the saddle on Stream when Jessie took off. "CATRINA! HANG IN THERE!" she cried as she tried to buckle the straps around the horse. Stream would not hold still.

Sophie could only watch as Harley ran straight for the fence and jumped, clearing the fence and landing on the other side, not slowing down as she took off. Catrina however was thrown off as the horse jumped; flying through the air and landing on the ground. Her hip hit the dirt first and then her head followed, her entire body bouncing off the ground a few inches before falling back down and laying still.

"CATRINA!" Sophie screamed and left her panicking horse to rush over to her friend.

'_Oh please let her be ok!'_

Jessie was already there, kneeling beside Catrina's body. She looked up at Sophie with a relieved look. "She's alive. A little dazed, but fine"

Catrina moaned and wheezed. "I've had worse. Give me a few moments." She coughed and slowly rolled onto her back.

Rain began to drizzle down, imprinting small circles in the dirt. A few dropped onto Catrina's face making her squint as she rolled onto her stomach and pushed herself up." What startled the horses?!"

Sophie gave a sigh of relief and looked over her shoulder at the barn. Stream had managed to undo the lead and had run off to the furthest part of the field to Harley.

"Something's not right. The horses have never been this upset over a storm. I just don't get it…" muttered Jessie as stood up.

Sophie didn't pay her much attention.

The sky was dark gray as the rain fell a little harder. The wind also picked up its pace, not to be outdone by its accomplice. Sophie watched what little of the tree's shadows she could see wave towards the barn in the gusts.

'_So why is the barn's shadow moving towards the trees?'_

Slowly Sophie bent down to reach for the small gun she had on her. After the Valentine event, she wasn't going to be caught without it.

"Catrina… I think something's in the barn…"

Catrina gave her a bewildered look, eyes widening slightly as she too glanced towards the barn. "A ghoul maybe?" She guessed, slowly pulling out a blessed silver switch blade from her pocket. "What makes you so sure?"

"What are you two talking about? Ghouls? "Jessie gave them both a confused look.

"The shadow of the barn. It isn't pointing in the same direction as everything else. I don't think it's a ghoul. I also don't think I can take on a vampire yet." Sophie muttered.

Alucard's training was indeed brutal, just like he'd promised. She hadn't received much sleep in the last few months, and it was starting to affect her. If he didn't give her a break soon, she was going to collapse. She couldn't take any more night time surprises or meal interruptions. And god damn it if he tried to sneak up on her in the shower again!

Sir Integra had yelled at her for all the bullet holes she had put into the ceiling. Sophie had apologized and had felt bad for a few minutes. Her mood improved as Sir Integra also told Alucard he was to go without feeding for a whole week as punishment.

Sadly for her he had taken out his frustration on her training, increasing the frequency of his appearances and drilling her longer.

"Well luckily you have me. Let's go kick some undead ass!" Catrina's grin was back as she began to dust off her jacket and cargo pants.

"You get too excited over this." Sophie muttered as she began to walk towards the barn.

"Wait! You signed a waiver saying you had no weapons! This is not ok at all! I must ask that the two of you-" Jessie began as her eyes narrowed in anger.

"Lady, your life could be in danger so I'm asking you to calm down and let us take care of this." Catrina stated as she tried to look as serious as possible.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Jessie sounded irritated as she stalked after the girls, following them to the barn.

"Hush!" Sophie held a finger to her mouth as she approached the entrance. The chickens that had been in there before were gone, most likely back in their nest by now.

The inside felt much colder than outside the barn Sophie noticed as she walked in, her footsteps muffled by hay. "There's definitely something going on here… Catrina call Sir Integra!"

Slowly she approached the first stall. Her hand reached to push the door when she felt it. A cold aura of pure smugness and arrogance wafted from behind her.

She knew that presence anywhere.

"OH GOD DAMN IT!" her roar echoed off the wooden boards.

Sophie whirled around and fired six shots into the vampire's chest, face twisted in anger as Alucard grinned at her from his spot in front of the stall door behind her.

He fell backwards, knocking into the door before lifting himself back up and looking down at his chest and smirked as he pushed the bullets back out.

Sophie listened to them as they landed softly with small thuds in the hay on the ground.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE!?" she shook as she screeched, hand still holding the gun against his blood soaked jacket. Sophie was proud when she didn't flinch as she watched his jacket melt over the wounds, hiding the regenerated flesh as well.

"I couldn't find you when I returned from my mission. I was making sure you weren't running off." Alucard placed his hand on her gun and lowered her hand.

"And you couldn't have called my phone? Seriously you are a drama king! Did you have fun scaring the horses shit-less?" Sophie raised an eyebrow slightly. She pocketed her now empty gun and turned towards Catrina and Jessie, not waiting for a response. The latter was passed out on the ground, a chicken resting against her hair.

"She fainted as soon as you shot him." Catrina said as she glanced down at the chicken. She drew back her foot and kicked forward; scooping the chicken up under its belly onto the top of her boot, and sending it flying into the air.

The chicken's squawk sounded angry as feathers drifted down from the chicken's flapping wings. It landed a good few feet away and ran off.

"That is so much better in real life than in video games!"

"You both need new hobbies" Sophie gave an agitated growl as she stormed past the woman on the ground and too the car.

"WAIT! What about the horses?" Catrina yelled after her.

Sophie turned and pointed to Harley and Stream, both who were now laying under the awning of the barn. They gave Alucard anxious looks.

"They'll be fine. Get in the car we're leaving" Sophie's growl was irritated as she opened the door and got in the car. Catrina gave a shrug and opened the passenger door to get in.

Sophie started the car as Alucard walked over, standing next to her window. He removed his glasses and bent down.

"You're not coming with us!" She shouted through the closed window and stuck out her tongue. Quickly she backed out of the driveway and out onto the road, taking off in a hurry.

Catrina watched Alucard's form disappear from view the farther they got." Are you sure that was a good idea? He's going to be pissed at you."

"I'll take the small wins at this point." Sophie replied.

Further down the road the path became shrouded in mist until it was too hard to see. Sophie had to pull over.

"I told you he would be upset"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had to limit my story so not to give too many spoilers. I am not a fan of hurting animals so no chicken punting was actually done. However I did see a bunch of roosters running after a single hen. The hen however did not escape… It was weird… The 'chicken gangbang' is now a running joke among my friends who were there.

COMING UP NEXT TIME: Sophie and Catrina get into an argument which ends up Sophie wishing away her friend to the Goblin king.

Yep. It's a Labyrinth-Hellsing cross over.

For those of you who have not watched Labyrinth, I recommend you find time to watch it. It's great.


End file.
